When you're in a relationship, whether it's serious about it, unsure about where it's going, or just starting out, it's wise to evaluate whether or not you're a compatible match. You have to consider whether or not the relationship is mutually beneficial. Determine if it's what you want. Determine if you're headed in the same directions.
Why Should You Determine if You're A Compatible Match?
Even when you're with someone who is a compatible match, you'll still have problems. However, if you're compatible, chances are you will work through them similarly. Imagine being friends with a couple. Tim solves problems by not talking about them. After a few days, he's past whatever happened, and he's over it. Susan wants to talk through it and figure it out. That'll be a problem in the long haul and could definitely effect whether or not they're a compatible match. Even if they're compatible in other ways, when they fight, they will have a hard time getting past it. If they talk it through, Susan will be happy but Tim will be mad. If they don't, Tim will be happy, but Susan will be mad.
Other reasons to determine if you're a compatible match include:
*Similar relationship goals
*Same things out of a relationship - companionship, marriage, family, etc.
*Similar religious views
*You'll both be looking for the same thing
*Chemistry (although this can come without compatibility)
*Similar ways of working through things
*It's important for a lasting relationship
What Does a Compatible Match Look Like
Compatibility is basically determining whether or not things go well together. In a relationship, a compatible match is more than whether or not you're attracted to one another, or how attracted you are to one another. Compatibility and attraction are not the same thing. We're attracted to lots of people we'll never be attracted to, and we're compatible with people to whom we're not necessarily attracted.
A compatible match has the ups and downs, just like any other relationship. But, you have similar values and you work through things. You probably have some similar personality traits and relationship styles. You probably both communicate similarly. Now, not every compatible match has all those things, but they do have the majority of them.
How Can You Determine If You're an Ideal Match?
There are many compatibility tests that you and your partner or significant other can take to find if you're a compatible match. These tests compare seven different things to determine compatibility. These are:
*Ambition Level - if you're planning to become a doctor and the person you're with has never been to college and doesn't want to, but thinks he/she can live off of your salary, you might want to reconsider the relationship
*Desire for Verbal Intimacy and Ability to be Intimate
*Energy Level - if one person enjoys hardcore sports and another likes to watch TV, you may not be compatible
*Interests - sharing similar interests is different than putting up with someone's separate interests, you should enjoy at least some of the same things
*Personal habits - good hygiene is a given, but if one person is extremely organized and the other extremely disorganized, things probably won't go so well
*Role Expectations - Who'll stay home with the kids? Who's going to work? Will you both work? Don't be surprised
No matter how compatible you are, the chances of you being a compatible match, or strongly compatible, in everything is unlikely. However, if you're strongly compatible, then evaluating your problem areas will make your relationship strong and make your relationship better.